Wednesday, July 30, 2008
If you close the front door...
I've been going to the doctor's nonstop. I'm kinda sick of it, but since every fatal disease runs through the family viens... in my viens... they just need to make sure. And something has not been right with my insides. They want to check because what's going and my age don't match. Weird.
I have another appointment today... in an hour.
Afterwards I'm going to go to Billy's for his birthday. =]
Where there's Billy... there will be Harry Potter conversations.
After that, I'll be sleeping over Jess's house. It's been so long since we last hung out. I miss her.
I'll update later and such.
I have another appointment today... in an hour.
Afterwards I'm going to go to Billy's for his birthday. =]
Where there's Billy... there will be Harry Potter conversations.
After that, I'll be sleeping over Jess's house. It's been so long since we last hung out. I miss her.
I'll update later and such.
Monday, July 28, 2008
If I could just understand...
There's so much pressure.
I am not liking this. It's just so not me.
What it comes down to is... I have to make my dream come true. That makes sense. Yes? Only... right now... it's all about family honor. Which adds... not just a little... but a lot of pressure. Especially when failure is a major thing in the family. It's like a diseased gene.
It's like... everyone is on the sidelines... waiting... and hoping... that I screw up. I won't that happen. I won't fail. I won't do anything that will stop me.
I will show everyone what I am made out of.
And then I will be victorious.
And they would be able to just suck it.
Faith. I have that. I hope I have enough of it in me. I hope everything falls into place. It just... has to. I want it to. Not for just now... not because I want it from before... I want it to happen for good. From that point until the day I die.
I hate how there's the pressure. I hate how much I depend on this. I hate the feeling of almost-failure. I hate that there are people waiting for a failure. Most of all... I hate the idea of disappointment. It sickens me. It's like bringing a venomous fang straight to my throat and wishing and praying that this fang will bring me out of my misery. But that would... ultimately... be fatal. Therefore... not the best idea in the entire world. The fatalness is the failure. (Gosh... I had no idea how many times I was wrining failure in this post.)
Also. I love how... I am the "bad" team... and there's the "good guy". Everyone's hoping that good guy will win... and not loose or even tie. It angers me so.
I wanted to go away for college for a new begining. I different setting. To grow up. And not have a constant reminder of what kind of gossip revolves around the society I am a part of. It's all silly nonsense. Filled with childish remarks, almost rumors... and comparisons.
I am not liking this. It's just so not me.
What it comes down to is... I have to make my dream come true. That makes sense. Yes? Only... right now... it's all about family honor. Which adds... not just a little... but a lot of pressure. Especially when failure is a major thing in the family. It's like a diseased gene.
It's like... everyone is on the sidelines... waiting... and hoping... that I screw up. I won't that happen. I won't fail. I won't do anything that will stop me.
I will show everyone what I am made out of.
And then I will be victorious.
And they would be able to just suck it.
Faith. I have that. I hope I have enough of it in me. I hope everything falls into place. It just... has to. I want it to. Not for just now... not because I want it from before... I want it to happen for good. From that point until the day I die.
I hate how there's the pressure. I hate how much I depend on this. I hate the feeling of almost-failure. I hate that there are people waiting for a failure. Most of all... I hate the idea of disappointment. It sickens me. It's like bringing a venomous fang straight to my throat and wishing and praying that this fang will bring me out of my misery. But that would... ultimately... be fatal. Therefore... not the best idea in the entire world. The fatalness is the failure. (Gosh... I had no idea how many times I was wrining failure in this post.)
Also. I love how... I am the "bad" team... and there's the "good guy". Everyone's hoping that good guy will win... and not loose or even tie. It angers me so.
I wanted to go away for college for a new begining. I different setting. To grow up. And not have a constant reminder of what kind of gossip revolves around the society I am a part of. It's all silly nonsense. Filled with childish remarks, almost rumors... and comparisons.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
If these arms could embrace...
I dreamed the sweetest summer sin.
I am starting to think I really do like him.
I am starting to think I really do like him.
Friday, July 25, 2008
If you sent me 10 envelopes...
Orientation was this past Monday and Tuesday. I had an amazing time. =]
Met a lot of cool people. Met someone who went to my school all this time and we never met before. Learned more about the area, my program, slang, lol. It was wonderful.
So... random update... I might be interested in someone. This is exciting.
Especially since the last one I liked... well. We're okay as friends.
The one before that... completely awful being.
Before that... liar.
And before that... complete heartbreaker.
Not a very good list.
Who knows what will happen.
I just hope it's good.
Also... next Friday!!! <3 So excited.
Met a lot of cool people. Met someone who went to my school all this time and we never met before. Learned more about the area, my program, slang, lol. It was wonderful.
So... random update... I might be interested in someone. This is exciting.
Especially since the last one I liked... well. We're okay as friends.
The one before that... completely awful being.
Before that... liar.
And before that... complete heartbreaker.
Not a very good list.
Who knows what will happen.
I just hope it's good.
Also... next Friday!!! <3 So excited.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
If the sea turtle doesn't see the sea...
So I am watching The Soup. Fun.
It's the night before I leave for orientation... what's on my mind?
Books.
Odd.
Isn't it?
It's the night before I leave for orientation... what's on my mind?
Books.
Odd.
Isn't it?
If I could not stop that you now know...
I can't believe... in less than 24 hours... I find out more news than gossiping girls in a lunch room in a middle school.
Let's see.
1A) Nana can't go on her Amazonian Adventure. Turns out... the Amazon is a remote area and the medicial situation there... isn't the best. And she'd have some issues. Therefore. No Amazon. (-)
1B) Just because Nana can't go... doesn't mean she won't have fun. She already looked at the negatives and is happy not to be going. Plus, she and I can spend more time together. (+)
2A) Uncle A does not want Uncle B to be living with him for a while. A is looking for a break. Totally understandable. We can take Uncle B for a while. (/)
2B) We should have him for about 3 weeks. (-)
2C) There is NO WAY we can bring him to school. It's a DORM room... not an apartment. There's barely enough room for Kate and myself WITH our families. Totally uncool if he comes. It's not like he would do anything to provide and productivity. (-)
2D) He's just not fun. (---!!!)
Just wonderful.
Whatever, I suppose. I'll have the comfort of Breaking Dawn by my side. Yes. That sounds right. Hopefully Stephenie Meyer ends up... writing a... descriptive desciption about Bella and Edward. Well... for those who read it... I'm taking about... what happened in Eclipse and we are ALL waiting for it. ;]
Well...until I'm facing another episode of insomnia. Ta ta for now (meaning... I'll be back in a few hours.).
Let's see.
1A) Nana can't go on her Amazonian Adventure. Turns out... the Amazon is a remote area and the medicial situation there... isn't the best. And she'd have some issues. Therefore. No Amazon. (-)
1B) Just because Nana can't go... doesn't mean she won't have fun. She already looked at the negatives and is happy not to be going. Plus, she and I can spend more time together. (+)
2A) Uncle A does not want Uncle B to be living with him for a while. A is looking for a break. Totally understandable. We can take Uncle B for a while. (/)
2B) We should have him for about 3 weeks. (-)
2C) There is NO WAY we can bring him to school. It's a DORM room... not an apartment. There's barely enough room for Kate and myself WITH our families. Totally uncool if he comes. It's not like he would do anything to provide and productivity. (-)
2D) He's just not fun. (---!!!)
Just wonderful.
Whatever, I suppose. I'll have the comfort of Breaking Dawn by my side. Yes. That sounds right. Hopefully Stephenie Meyer ends up... writing a... descriptive desciption about Bella and Edward. Well... for those who read it... I'm taking about... what happened in Eclipse and we are ALL waiting for it. ;]
Well...until I'm facing another episode of insomnia. Ta ta for now (meaning... I'll be back in a few hours.).
If I could dream at all... I would dream of you.
Edward Cullen has yet to conquer my mind again. I wish the flawless vampire existed. The element of romance... danger... it would be... stunningly poisonous.
So. I've been thinking a thought that's good and bad. It's odd. See... I've been thinking about someone I thought I would never think about this much. Maybe it's just a phase. School is starting soon... it might be just a phase. I can't see this going anywhere while we're in school... but... it's funny. I just... have a feeling. I don't know. It's... I don't know... unknown.
So. I've been thinking a thought that's good and bad. It's odd. See... I've been thinking about someone I thought I would never think about this much. Maybe it's just a phase. School is starting soon... it might be just a phase. I can't see this going anywhere while we're in school... but... it's funny. I just... have a feeling. I don't know. It's... I don't know... unknown.
Friday, July 18, 2008
If I could see the every star with you... I'd see them all.
Greetings.
It feels odd that it is July 18th. Of 2008.
Breaking Dawn comes out in two weeks. Very exciting. Nana and I will go pick up my copy. Of course... that makes this even more exciting.
I figured since I am starting a new beginning... a new blog should be in place.
There hasn't been a whole lot happening to write about. Although, I have been reading quite a lot... with a side of mega writing. Uber amounts of fun.
It feels odd that it is July 18th. Of 2008.
Breaking Dawn comes out in two weeks. Very exciting. Nana and I will go pick up my copy. Of course... that makes this even more exciting.
I figured since I am starting a new beginning... a new blog should be in place.
There hasn't been a whole lot happening to write about. Although, I have been reading quite a lot... with a side of mega writing. Uber amounts of fun.
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