That feeling of loneliness is back.
I'll try and fool anyone.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
If I knew how to fix things...
Are you lying to yourself about something?
Sometimes.
Did you ever waste too much time on a someone that treated you badly?
Someone? How about something? Hello pharmacy.
Do you still talk to the person you last kissed?
Haven't talked to him in AGES. And I very much like it like that. He and I have nothing to say to each other.
Have you chewed gum after someone else already chewed it?
Uhm, this is an awkward story.
Do you need to say anything to anyone?
I need to say a lot of things to everyone.
Do you like anyone?
Yes.
Anything happen to you within the past month that has made you really angry?
Yes.
Is there someone who instantly makes you smile when they send you a message?
Yes.
What’s your mood right now?
Slightly baffled.
Think back to yesterday, what were you doing around this time?
Not sleeping.
Last place you went out to eat?
Mall food court: Chinese Food. :D
Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
No.
Have you realized anything lately?
Yeah.
Were you in a good mood last night?
Decent.
What were you doing at 7:45AM this morning?
I definitely shut off my alarm this time.
Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
Yeah.
Are you listening to music right now?
Yes. Pandora radio. <3 Right now it's "God Made the Automobile" by Iron and Wine.
Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
Cold.
Were you happy when you woke up?
I wake up in need to use the bathroom.
Do you plan on moving out in the next year?
I dorm.
Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
Yes.
When is the last time you took a nap?
Monday.
First person to speak to you in ‘09?
Friends.
Do you think you are capable to last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating?
Yes.
Are you a fast typer?
Decent.
Have you ever been given roses?
Rose.
Do you prefer being in an actual relationship, or would you rather have the freedom of a ‘friend’s with benefits’ type deal?
Relationship.
Do you like your life?
Let's talk about this when EVERYTHING is great.
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yes.
Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head?
Yes.
What color are your eyes?
Dark brown.
Would you ever sky dive?
Yes.
Do you like Red Bull?
No.
Who is in your default picture with you?
For blogger? Just me.
Has anyone said they love you in the last week?
Yes.
How many televisions are in your house?
That are plugged in and on? Six.
Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Sure.
How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
Three?
Missing someone?
Yes.
Do you own a digital camera?
Yes.
Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
No.
Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
Just ears.
Had someone sing to you?
Once.
Do you like to cuddle?
Yes.
Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
Mixed.
Sometimes.
Did you ever waste too much time on a someone that treated you badly?
Someone? How about something? Hello pharmacy.
Do you still talk to the person you last kissed?
Haven't talked to him in AGES. And I very much like it like that. He and I have nothing to say to each other.
Have you chewed gum after someone else already chewed it?
Uhm, this is an awkward story.
Do you need to say anything to anyone?
I need to say a lot of things to everyone.
Do you like anyone?
Yes.
Anything happen to you within the past month that has made you really angry?
Yes.
Is there someone who instantly makes you smile when they send you a message?
Yes.
What’s your mood right now?
Slightly baffled.
Think back to yesterday, what were you doing around this time?
Not sleeping.
Last place you went out to eat?
Mall food court: Chinese Food. :D
Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
No.
Have you realized anything lately?
Yeah.
Were you in a good mood last night?
Decent.
What were you doing at 7:45AM this morning?
I definitely shut off my alarm this time.
Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
Yeah.
Are you listening to music right now?
Yes. Pandora radio. <3 Right now it's "God Made the Automobile" by Iron and Wine.
Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
Cold.
Were you happy when you woke up?
I wake up in need to use the bathroom.
Do you plan on moving out in the next year?
I dorm.
Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
Yes.
When is the last time you took a nap?
Monday.
First person to speak to you in ‘09?
Friends.
Do you think you are capable to last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating?
Yes.
Are you a fast typer?
Decent.
Have you ever been given roses?
Rose.
Do you prefer being in an actual relationship, or would you rather have the freedom of a ‘friend’s with benefits’ type deal?
Relationship.
Do you like your life?
Let's talk about this when EVERYTHING is great.
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yes.
Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head?
Yes.
What color are your eyes?
Dark brown.
Would you ever sky dive?
Yes.
Do you like Red Bull?
No.
Who is in your default picture with you?
For blogger? Just me.
Has anyone said they love you in the last week?
Yes.
How many televisions are in your house?
That are plugged in and on? Six.
Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Sure.
How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
Three?
Missing someone?
Yes.
Do you own a digital camera?
Yes.
Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
No.
Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
Just ears.
Had someone sing to you?
Once.
Do you like to cuddle?
Yes.
Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
Mixed.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
If you write a bad romance.
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1885433872?bctid=55018990001
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
If I smoke my cigarette and run...
Well, home for Thanksgiving. Been here since Saturday. It's been kinda hellish. Not going to lie. I don't think I have ever cried so much in a week's span. There's so much in my mind right now about Chem, family, crisis... well... everything. Lately... I can't stop listening to (as bad as this is...) the New Moon soundtrack and (definitely better than the first) Fame Monster songs. <3 They're helping a lot. Chris helps a lot too. I feel bad... he stayed up late again. He's so sleep deprived... he should really get some sleep.
Anyway, Josh is awake from his nap at the moment. I'm going to babysit now.
Anyway, Josh is awake from his nap at the moment. I'm going to babysit now.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
If we're going down...
Had a great evening at Jeff's. :D
His family's really sweet.
It's nights like this that make me forget.
I kinda like it. I don't know how to describe it...
Like... It's a temporary high from stress.
Yeah.. that's what it is.
Oh... and a happier note song.
Just for kicks and giggles.
P.S: Old friend of mine... yeah, her brother is the drummer. Super cool, eh?
His family's really sweet.
It's nights like this that make me forget.
I kinda like it. I don't know how to describe it...
Like... It's a temporary high from stress.
Yeah.. that's what it is.
Oh... and a happier note song.
Just for kicks and giggles.
P.S: Old friend of mine... yeah, her brother is the drummer. Super cool, eh?
Friday, November 6, 2009
If she's on your mind...
Holy Mother Earth, Jesus, Father Time, Spirits above, God[s/ess/esses]...
Please help her. Please?
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
If I'm to blame...
This is in my head...
Anyway... what's new in life?
So. Let me start off this entry tonight by saying I am very confused.
Jeff doesn't understand why I'm upset at the situation. That's what we'll call it... The Situation. It's frustrating because apparently other people know about this and they thought it would be funny. I went to Perks with James and he reassured me that I wasn't overreacting. He thinks I have every right to be. I am still unsure because like Jeff said, other people would have laughed at this. They could think this was funny. BUT... here's the thing... I'm not like other people. I don't want to be like other people. And it's all by choice. And then Jeff went on and on about how I "okay-ed it" but I didn't! Really... I genuinely thought it was a joke. I mean... seriously... the dialogue where I said "ok... whatever, fine..." went like this:
J: "I'm going to spike your drink! And you won't even know it! I have a plan and everything. I even know what day I'm going to do it!!!"
A: "Nooo, you won't do it..."
J: "I will. I most definitely will."
A: "Well... if you do it... I'll have to chop off your balls, in the middle of the night, in your sleep" <--- OBVIOUSLY THAT'S A JOKE...
J: "Consider me ball-less."
^^^REALLY?! I WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY? Well, it's going to sound weird because anyone really reading this probably don't know who I'm talking about (except that it's some guy named Jeff)... but Jeff said this in a joking way. A friend and my roommate (I don't know how involved they were in)... thought he was joking as well. I mean, obviously I was joking... so it was supposed to be one big joke. AND, he even said it was a joke... HOWEVER, if it was... he shouldn't go through with it. If it was a joke... it should NOT have been done. That's my opinion. And like... he said it wasn't a trust issue (and James disagrees)... but to me it is. For me... I don't know... it makes me wonder... when is he being serious then? When is he joking? Am I supposed to take this lightly? Or is this something I shouldn't be concerned about? I don't understand. We're kinda frustrated with each other at this moment I suppose. And I was talking about it with James earlier, and he did state a good point: the people Jeff talked to are people who drink. If he did that to them, it would have been funny... and they would have laughed. However, what about someone who didn't want to be a part of it? And when do I take him seriously now? How can I TRUST him whether or not it's a joke that's coming out of his mouth or the truth?
Well now that i rambled and incredible amount of (for a lack of better words) rambling, I think I'm going to head to bed. After all... at the moment... it's 2:15am.
Anyway... what's new in life?
So. Let me start off this entry tonight by saying I am very confused.
Jeff doesn't understand why I'm upset at the situation. That's what we'll call it... The Situation. It's frustrating because apparently other people know about this and they thought it would be funny. I went to Perks with James and he reassured me that I wasn't overreacting. He thinks I have every right to be. I am still unsure because like Jeff said, other people would have laughed at this. They could think this was funny. BUT... here's the thing... I'm not like other people. I don't want to be like other people. And it's all by choice. And then Jeff went on and on about how I "okay-ed it" but I didn't! Really... I genuinely thought it was a joke. I mean... seriously... the dialogue where I said "ok... whatever, fine..." went like this:
J: "I'm going to spike your drink! And you won't even know it! I have a plan and everything. I even know what day I'm going to do it!!!"
A: "Nooo, you won't do it..."
J: "I will. I most definitely will."
A: "Well... if you do it... I'll have to chop off your balls, in the middle of the night, in your sleep" <--- OBVIOUSLY THAT'S A JOKE...
J: "Consider me ball-less."
^^^REALLY?! I WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY? Well, it's going to sound weird because anyone really reading this probably don't know who I'm talking about (except that it's some guy named Jeff)... but Jeff said this in a joking way. A friend and my roommate (I don't know how involved they were in)... thought he was joking as well. I mean, obviously I was joking... so it was supposed to be one big joke. AND, he even said it was a joke... HOWEVER, if it was... he shouldn't go through with it. If it was a joke... it should NOT have been done. That's my opinion. And like... he said it wasn't a trust issue (and James disagrees)... but to me it is. For me... I don't know... it makes me wonder... when is he being serious then? When is he joking? Am I supposed to take this lightly? Or is this something I shouldn't be concerned about? I don't understand. We're kinda frustrated with each other at this moment I suppose. And I was talking about it with James earlier, and he did state a good point: the people Jeff talked to are people who drink. If he did that to them, it would have been funny... and they would have laughed. However, what about someone who didn't want to be a part of it? And when do I take him seriously now? How can I TRUST him whether or not it's a joke that's coming out of his mouth or the truth?
Well now that i rambled and incredible amount of (for a lack of better words) rambling, I think I'm going to head to bed. After all... at the moment... it's 2:15am.
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